Living in A TUTU

Feeding an elephant Maybe tomorrow lol GETTING EXCITED LOL :)

Sun, 19 May 2013 05:17:23 -0400

Feeding an elephant

Maybe tomorrow lol GETTING EXCITED LOL :)

Bangkok Temple I don’t think I’ve been to this one...

Sun, 19 May 2013 05:16:40 -0400

Bangkok Temple

I don’t think I’ve been to this one but I still have over a week left. :)

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 04:57:16 -0400

Reblog if you love to write.

Sun, 19 May 2013 04:15:27 -0400

Whether it be fanfiction, original stories, drabbles, songs, poems, books, or anything that has to do with creative words, then reblog. Let’s gather all the writers of Tumblr together.

how come the josh hutcherson fanfic directory is gone ;(

Sun, 19 May 2013 04:06:42 -0400

It is being moved and the new link will be out as soon as the new blog is up and running which will probably after I get back to the states.

We’re not gone just under construction :)

Cricket!!! Thank you so much for that one shot! I absolutely loved it and it was just what I needed!!!! You are my absolute favorite fanfic author!!! :) Hope your travels are going well. :)

Sun, 19 May 2013 04:02:05 -0400

You are very welcome love! I hope it lifted your sprits and I hope you received my message loud and clear.

You’re beautiful no matter your size and if anyone is telling you any different then they don’t know much about anything!

My travels are wonderful, thank you for asking. I may just have to never leave here. The culture, the people, my students, I love them so.

xoxoxo

Photo

Sat, 18 May 2013 20:00:46 -0400

Photo

Sat, 18 May 2013 18:13:32 -0400

"One day your heart will take you to your lover. One day your soul will carry you to the Beloved...."

Sat, 18 May 2013 17:24:24 -0400

“One day your heart will take you to your lover. One day your soul will carry you to the Beloved. Don’t get lost in your pain – know that one day your pain will become your cure.”

- Rumi (via erraticintrovert)

Photo

Sat, 18 May 2013 17:23:22 -0400

marvelandwhimsy: x ALL DAY BABY!

Sat, 18 May 2013 17:00:43 -0400

marvelandwhimsy:

x

ALL DAY BABY!

Me [by: Julie Martinez] Me in a nutshell ladies and...

Sat, 18 May 2013 16:57:50 -0400

Me

[by: Julie Martinez]

Me in a nutshell ladies and gentlemen :)

atvendure: exactly

Sat, 18 May 2013 16:36:23 -0400

atvendure:

exactly

erin-marie-nicholson: body |

Sat, 18 May 2013 16:28:16 -0400

erin-marie-nicholson:

body |

Photo

Sat, 18 May 2013 16:01:06 -0400

thewriterwhodoesntwrite: Words cannot express how sexy this...

Sat, 18 May 2013 15:56:19 -0400

thewriterwhodoesntwrite:

Words cannot express how sexy this is.

Okay. Be like that then you delicious thing you!

"Sometimes I miss you the way someone drowning remembers the air."

Sat, 18 May 2013 14:34:26 -0400

“Sometimes I miss you
the way someone drowning
remembers the air.”

- Tim Seibles (via untames)

Only in Bangkok

Sat, 18 May 2013 12:48:06 -0400

Only in Bangkok

Words I Needed To Hear

Sat, 18 May 2013 07:57:00 -0400

These two could possibly show up later in my writing :) For my anon. Sorry I didn’t edit, I wanted to get this out for you as soon as possible :)

~Cricket

“Roses for my Rose?”

I hadn’t been smiling all day and in one second Josh fixed that. He had a way of knowing when things are wrong. He had a way of making things good for me again. With him, I don’t have time to get wrapped into myself. Not in the selfish narcotic kind of way but in the self-destruction sort of way. I’m the kind of person that when I have too much time to think, I start to let the ideas, that I usually leave in the corners of my mind, manifest and grow dangerously fast, like vines, they take over in a quickness.

That’s the reason I didn’t give myself much down time. I couldn’t allow myself to break myself.

Running into Josh the day we met, only added to that need. He came out of nowhere and managed to change something within me. I’m not sure what that is just yet.

Today was a bad one, and even when I hadn’t talked to him in almost a week, here he is, texting me to meet him at a small garden not far from Driver’s favorite park, randomly.

It’s during the middle of the daytime and no one is here. I was marching along, not really paying attention to anything when Josh caught my attention, once I was inside the gate of the garden that seemed a little out of the way.

My beam was a genuine one. “Thank you.” I love that he refuses to call me Lauren and only uses my middle name. I love that he is slowly but surely shedding some light on the dark parts of my mind, hopefully blinding them forever.

I know true happiness because of him. Even when we fight, like we did last week, our voices raises, hands flying all over the place, our phones both slamming down on the nearest surface, I knew we would work it out somehow.

That’s what made this relationship with him different; we want to work things out, every rough patch, smooth out all the crinkles and not start over but keep going. We recognize we’re different and we want to work through the knots in our relationship, trying to create a smooth surface over our cracks, the places where our personalities don’t match but meet.

My body folded into his as his lips kissed on the tattoo behind my left ear.

“So I know the Converse fall photoshoot went horrible today. I know they were nasty to you. I know you felt like nothing afterwards.”

We were swaying now and I realize he was repeating me word for word of an earlier conversation I had with someone else, “How do you know that?”

“I have my sources.” He started kissing down to my shoulder.

I rolled my eyes and yet I was still smiling. I already knew his main resource, my main confidant, my best friend, “Jane.”

I was quickly turned around to face him, “You’ve caught me. Red handed!” I was tugged close and we played around with one another, a push here, a tickle there, a peek on the lips, until he led me to the blanket and the lunch he had previously arranged.

We got settled and he kissed my cheek as I bit into a piece of watermelon, always dessert before dinner, “So what made it so bad?”

“He just wanted me to turn and pose in ways that wasn’t capable with my body. He didn’t say anything directly to me but I just knew. He was angry that he had to work with a plus size model.”

Josh was quiet for a while, calculating what he was going to say. “That’s that issue I have with you and the rest of the industry. Why does it have to be called plus sized? You’re beautiful whether your pant size is 2,12 or 22.”

We’ve had this discussion before. My section of modeling was labeled as “Plus size.” I was a size 18. I’m the smallest one in what was my small family, meaning my mother was larger, her living sisters the same as well.

I’ve dealt with it my entire life, after twenty plus years I was ready to move past it. Josh was stuck.

“Sweetie.” I bit into my sandwich, chewed, swallowed and then spoke again, “You agree, I agree, A LOT of people agree, but its still going to be classified as what its already is. It’s easier to accept for some and more complicated for most. I know there are people in my life that will have a problem with me, not matter what I look like, where I’m from or what I represent, maybe even who I’m with?”

His eyebrow rose with my light mention of him. We still ate in silence, it was comfortable at least to me. Josh was too busy thinking over what I said.

We were looking up to the sky that presented us with plenty of clouds. A lot of space to stare into and think about. Little did I know that Josh’s mind was still lingering on our earlier conversation.

He played in my hair as his hand glided along my side. My head was on his chest as we looked up. “I don’t care what other people think and you know that. I will always be that person. I do care how other people treat the people I love.”

I jumped a bit when he said that. Love. I don’t have a problem with that word. I’ve used it before, I’ve thought about it before and I’ve even said it and Josh’s name out loud, just never to him. For whatever reason, I didn’t want to, I haven’t said it to him yet, but now seemed about right but I gave him the chance to finish.

“I don’t care that you’re taller than me, or that you like to eat and that you have a lower metabolism. I love that you’re soft, curvy and I can feel all over you every time our bodies meet. I crave everything you are and I know I would love you whether you’re a model or an accountant. You’re wonderful at what you do and not just because you have a pretty face, though you do, you’ll always have a beautiful heart.”

I have a hard time listening to these words. It’s not that I’m not used to hearing them, there are others in my life that are just as big of fans of me as Josh is but, that doesn’t mean that hearing positivity will get any easier.

I’ve come a long way in my way of thinking, yet I know I still have a long way to go.

“Thank you Josh. It feels good having you in my corner,” I settled into him. I moved my head to the side and kissed the side of his jaw, the part of him that can bring me to smiles one moment and into tears of pleasure the next. Right now I meant that gesture as a symbol of love, understanding and thanks, “I’ll remember this, any moment I have to realize I have struggles yet to meet but there’s someone who will be there for me, this moment when I told you that I love you too.”

My face nuzzled into his neck his hands ran down my back. We napped on our blanket and for a whole day I was happy in arms. Then tomorrow came, it was another day, another battle.

To Anon

Fri, 17 May 2013 23:08:36 -0400

I’ll get it done while I’m on my way to my next hotel. It will be morning in America is that’s where you are, but I’ll make it happen boo! :)